Attachment Parenting

You may have heard the term Attachment Parenting thrown around here and there. You might know what it means already but I have to tell you (for the ones that don't know) that's it's a pretty interesting point of view on how to raise your child. Attachment Parenting was created by Dr. William Sears to help mothers bond with their babies and stay connected. His theory is that there are eight principles to parenting. Here they are:

1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
2. Feed with Love and Respect
3. Respond with Sensitivity
4. Use Nurturing Touch
5. Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
6. Provide Consistent Loving Care
7. Practice Positive Discipline
   
8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

In other words, Attachment Parenting strives for a natural birth, skin to skin contact with your baby immediately following delivery, breast feeding, co-sleeping or sleeping close by, keeping your child in a sling most of the time, and a gentle approach when it comes to discipline. His theory suggests that the child's emotional and physical needs be met almost immediately forming a secure attachment and bond.

So what is the down side of Attachment Parenting? While this theory may work for some parents, others are use to a more traditional approach and argue this round the clock parenting isn't necessary. Since there isn't enough evidence to support Sear's theory, many people argue that Attachment Parenting isn't the correct way to form a bond with their child. Not only that, many people believe that co-sleeping is dangerous and should be avoided completely. As many of you know, the American Academy of Pediatrics strongly urges parents to not co-sleep due to an increase in SIDS.

How do I feel about Attachment Parenting? While I think some of these principles are correct, I feel that this theory is a little too strict in my opinion. I think as a mother we know what's best for our child. When they are hungry, we know because we feed them. When they need to be soothed, we rock them. When they have a problem, we address it. I for one think that a child should never co-sleep with their parent especially when they are infants. There also needs to be a separation from parent to child so a child can gain independence and self esteem. My problem with Attachment Parenting is that if you are constantly at your child's every beck and call, it doesn't give the child enough space to thrive and grow. Not only do I think it isn't healthy for the child, I think it's unhealthy for your relationship with your spouse. Yes, I'm a big believer in breast feeding and skin to skin contact. I am also the type of parent that likes to have their newborns close by when they sleep. Many of these parents who live by these rules don't have a cut off on age for co-sleeping which means their child or children are still in bed with them! If we try to constantly protect our children by keeping them by our side at all times, how do we let these children "go" when it comes time for school or social settings?

How do you feel about Attachment Parenting?

Jessica

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by Jessica GPosted in Babies, Mothers

Kids Vs Vegetables

I never thought that getting kids to eat their vegetables would be so hard! Actually, I remember my childhood and I never liked them either so I don't know why I'm so surprised! I feel like its pure torture every night at the dinner table. Our dinners usually consist of me making 3-4 different meals since not everyone likes the same things. (Don't even get me started on that subject) You think that when you have a family and you’re able to pull off the family dinner thing that it's actually going to be enjoyable..but it's not all that much fun. It usually consists of me running around throwing meals together that everyone likes and then trying to get everyone to eat what's on their plate. I usually don't get to eat a hot meal myself when all is said and done but I've come to terms with that already! What I really just want is for my kids to eat healthy. So, even though I try to make them things they like, I do try to throw in some vegetables in there too. I use to try to sneak vegetables into their food but they always wondered why their macaroni and cheese tasted funny! No matter what they are eating, I add a vegetable in the hopes by some miracle they will eat it without a fuss. We have even gone as far as trying to reward the kids that if they eat their vegetables, they will earn stars on their reward chart to eventually get a prize. It actually worked for a while and the kids were excited about it but the novelty wore off. My husband as even started the whole "If you eat your vegetables, I'll give you a dollar." Funny how desperate times call for desperate measures! I'll be honest, I was starting to get worried that my husband might be starting to lose it! The more I thought about it, I thought it was a good idea. In fact, I'm ready to try anything at this point!

I found this fantastic article by Lucy Cooke who is a psychologist at University College London. Her and her team did a study and found something very interesting when it comes to getting your kids to eat vegetables!

Here it is:

"At the beginning of the study, 422 children (ages 4-6) were shown six vegetables  (carrot, red pepper, sugar snap pea, cabbage, cucumber, and celery).  They were asked to taste a piece of each, rate how much they liked it (on a scale from yummy to yucky), and put them in order of best-to-worst tasting.

The researchers focused on the fourth-ranked vegetable for each child, inviting them to eat as much as they wanted, and measuring the amount eaten (usually, not much.)

The children were then offered that vegetable again on each of the next twelve days.  Some of the children were offered a tangible reward  (a sticker) for eating it, some were enthusiastically praised for eating it, and others were not given any kind of reward.  (Children in the control group were not offered the vegetable each day.)

At the end of the twelve days, and again after 1 month and 3 months, the researchers offered the vegetable again to all the children, but this time without any rewards, and observed how much they freely chose to eat.

Initially, after the rewards were removed, the children who were given a tangible reward ate the most of their vegetables.  Those who received praise, and those who were simply exposed to the vegetable each day, ate less than the sticker group, but still ate significantly more than the control group.

But after three months, the sticker group was no different than the praise group - and both groups were eating nearly twice as much of their vegetable, of their own free will, than the control group kids.

So if you want to encourage your children to embrace the delights of broccoli and green beans (and be able to look your pediatrician directly in the eye), try introducing rewards into your dining routine.  If you aren't comfortable with the idea of paying your kids to eat, the good news is that some enthusiastic cheerleading works just as well in the long run.  Personally, I'm planning on investing in a lot of stickers."

This article really gives me reassurance that it's ok to offer my children a reward to eat their vegetables! How do you get your kids to eat theirs?

Jessica

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by Jessica GPosted in Babies, Mothers